deep muziq // is pre-diabetic and is not thinking straight anymore

"if i take the wrong bus. if i alight at the wrong stop. if i cant figure out how to detour. if i am reverting back to my old ways. if i look different. if i sing to a different tune. if i dont talk the same issues no more. "

then you should know. something is really wrong. call it mental breakdown. i duno.
all that happened today so yeah. i cant help it.
to make things worst. i finally got the results of my diabetes test.

im farquened pissed. i dont wanna be alive if i had a choice.

yes, something is wrong. and i aint got nothing to say.
i may act like that its nothing serious, but within me, i know. its wrong.

its getting depressing for me. crying and letting it out dont seem to save the day.

i dont wanna let my parents know about this whole issue. or else, i'll be the third one known to have this genetic disorder in my family.

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hmm, friends are cool with it. they make me feel better about this whole situation.

thanks dhana, thanks mufujifi (moo-foo-jee-fee). yeah.

dhana is like my main man. my bro. i dont have a brother, so yeah. he's been a cool one. he makes like the main decisions that helps us all, so yeah.
and mufujifi is like the character that suddenly became a friend of mine. she's cool too.

im getting more gay like the old me. yes. arrggghhh! mufujifi passed this pic to me. and i had this pic taken before seeing this Vitas's picture.
if he's bi, then i know what he's goin thru then.

admittedly, i dont understand what i meant when i said, she made me less gay. but i like it now.

not a cheap thrill. i duno. but it just stays on my mind. when im depressed, i just think of what i said earlier.

see, mufujifi's goal is to stay in an old folks home and play her ps2.
i was like why?

"its the most achievable dream"

i gotta agree on that part.
throughout our day at NTU, i just mulled over what she said.
so i replied,

"don't go to an old folk's home. get a bungalow"

"but then i would be alone, what if i fell down and hurt myself?"

"then i'll take care of you"

"heh heh"

i stood up and alighted from the train. it felt less gay and it made me feel happy.
happy all the way til the Medical Results.

lets cry now. arrgggghhhh!!!!!!

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them muziqally inclined people that i enjoy hangin out with...

today after thosai, we chilled at LaSalle, and then headed to Mustaffa Centre prior to heading back home.
a really simple affair. though i didnt have thosai cravings. but i ended up with having 2.

rava masala and masala thosai. sure.

i think they really put ganja in them