his million complaints

love. who needs it? and so my bunkmate took his all-purpose knife and cut his wrists. and a whole lotta commotion. see, i told you, who needs love.

if you're still a wannabe rocker living in the outdated 80s, then this might be a good tip for you. when performing onstage, in order to reach the higher notes, register or falsetto, it's always a good idea to wear 4 belts around that pot belly of yours. only then can you have a higher squealing voice its something even Michael Jackson would be envious of

and i have all her songs. what more can i say. i love all disney release. i have High School Musical 1 & 2 Camp Rock and now Hannah Montana? whats next? The Cheetah Girls?

so guess who am i listening to on my iPod? yes. *NSYNC's Home for Christmas! a 1998 US release. i hunted HMV and gramaphone for it but to no avail. but internet is always there. so why not. its really the wrong time and season to listen to but it makes me happy. but my favourite 'N Sync X'mas release would always be The Winter Album. i held this physically once in gramaphone, and then it was gone. same case again. internet always does the trick. *NSYNC The Winter Album. A 1998 UK release. a really nice depth of field shot i must say. and so the gay guy is always the blurred one i must say?

the most number of buses i rode on in a single day? 113. impossible? possible it is. boarding a bus and alighting at the next stop. you'll get dizzy but it'll test your patience and limit. if not, you'll get really stressed out. how long it took me? from 1200hrs to 1815hrs. care to join me? i thought so.

i was supposed to melt the chocolate to make the fondue. so as i typed this entry, i bit the chocolate in its unmelted form. and it melted in my mouth. so there you go, i can offer you fondue kisses now. :)

fasting during training. that would be challenging.

out of training. from 12 section mates, we're now left with 9. desmond got OOT for his sensitive skin. he cant be in the sun and dirt for too long or it gets red and rashy. he's now happy being a medic at nee soon shiv got OOT for his asthma and knee problem. now he's happy being a driver at jurong camp. and now goggle got his OOT for his flatfoot problem. and he said he's half happy and half sad. so yes, 3 empty beds. and erm, i can actually get OOT status too if i were to see my medical officer about my skin and its constant case of heat rash and irritation. but that wont be the case right now. cos 2 more of my section mates think they can get OOT as well. but really, we dont want out.

that could probably be the most biggest lie ever. and guard duty is half creepy and half good a weight lost regime. and the last time i really swam was 1998. and i didnt know i still could swim. and i really have no more juice to blog. and no, im not a slave to my blog. i just like typing and blabbering rubbish online. cheers.

when exercise cant help you lose that excess. i am resorting to pills. and no, not weight loss pills. but pills to boost my metabolism. my mate is losing 2kg per week while im at 800g. so why not?

i dont usually do this. its not cos im lazy. but i feel i share the same view regarding the past. in fact, i was part of his past. we all were in it together. i didnt think i could dance. in fact, i wouldnt be bouncing around in poly or ns had it not been for hillgrove. they nurtured me that way. " anywayz,i went to a hillgrovian dance grp blog a while ago and i saw a comment regarding a feud betw. a senior dance grp and a junior one...it was abt the stealing of dance steps or some sort... that got me reminded more of my time back in sec sch...and there wasnt any case of step stealing whatsoever...back then,we did our thing and no one else did anythin too similar that we thought they steal our steps...even if they do follow us,i would regard that as an inspiration for that other grp to get on with their own thing...no fighting i wld say...maybe amongst ourselves in the grp,yes but rarely betw. other grps...coz there wasnt any other male dance grp back then...hehe... i'm not be

i must admit. i used to run 10 rounds every saturday. but that was in 1996 when i was still 8 years old. and i was actually forced into it. my dad was the brainchild, or should i say, braindad of the whole training regime. my mum and sis would tag along as well. joinin in for 7 or 8 rounds. so 400m x 10 rounds equals to 4clicks. but in NS, we do only 2clicks per day. but in 1998, the whole trainin regime stopped. no more saturday jogs at BB Nature Park no more saturday jogs at the random track near the mosque but what if i were to re-live the whole thing and actually start running again? hmmm. maybe tomorrow

i forgotten about blogging i forgotten about friends and having fun i forgotten media i forgotten buses i dont even find my Red appealing to play at night. i think im brainwashed. im a soldier.

every morning when i wake up at 5am i'll rub my eyes, pour some water. and i tell myself that im awesome and that im on the right track only then i'd motivated to live on.

i l.o.v.e. you cupid was stupid. he shot me, instead of shooting her. and to think he used a pistol, instead of his usual bow and arrow. dont we all agree to that line?

it was that stupid blood test that changed me silly. it was that FYP period where i consumed too much Coke and Redbull. sugar level was at an all time high i tell you. so much so that it got me bouncing off the wall. with temper hitting the ceiling as well. "you might have diabetes" boy oh boy. that corrupted my thinking bad so i dedicated my time to a whole lot of bus riding. and i kept making random silly excuses for myself. "he can smoke, and he aint dying. so why shouldnt i?" i aint surprised that i tried it on grad night. "how does it feel to jump off from the 23rd floor?" i aint surprised why i stared down for so long "he can drink, so why shouldnt i?" "is religion make belief?" i aint surprised i questioned myself i gotta set my thinking straight again.

because one by one the people i know are breaking up. because i smile knowing that it happened yet i offer words of consolation because adam is not a nice person be wary of that. hugs to you. but every game has to end. hearts to you

i didnt get into trouble. i volunteered for it. this is to ensure lesser chances of getting guard duty during the fasting weekend. weekends are precious and i dont want it to get wasted. "i at 'nasi minyak' for lunch, then i had buffet at sakura and i ate like crazy, the next day i had more nasi minyak from the wedding leftover, and still i managed to lose 800g. i thought i would like gain 2 kilos" that was a very honest confession. and to think the safety message last two days was "lookout for you safety, regret KFC" what a nice safety message before book out. and no i aint feeling bad. no regrets. cos i can lose that pounds. yay me.

"you're very cynical" "you always make sure they dont have a comeback" "any opportunity you can shoot, you shoot" my words can hurt. at least while im offshore that is. i have offended countless many. some with partial tears in their eyes. and im not the least bit guilty. slowly but surely, im making people hate me now. but some love it when i get all mean and vulgar. simply because they themselves been wanting to retaliate but have not guts to do so. they leave the job to me. and im not enjoying this evil sarcastic side of me. remember the movie Army Daze? i swear, we have the real replica to it. even Sheikh think likewise. "our bunk is like army daze sia. hamzah is that big guy, nizam is that indian guy with the girlfriend, dominic is that nerd guy and and, the gay guy can be alif or adam" sheikh said "huh?" i added

98 degrees - invisible man i was stoning. i was having random thoughts in my head. then suddenly. "wan come out. idrus, you also. and adam. out" "oh shit!" that was the first thing that came to mind. we were already in Senang Diri position. i suspected i moved or maybe slightly fidget. so yes. time to face the music. "stand in front of the platoon" the voice of authority bellowed through my ears. "die" i thought. "look at the 3 of them. they have perfect bearing. look at how they fold their sleeves. and look at how fitting the shirt is on them. dont tell me they're fit and all that. you guys can achieve perfect bearing as well." sergeant told the rest. and i heaved a truckload sigh of relieve.

westlife - lost in you another vivo episode i must say. so much so that my readers and lurkers already know what i do every saturday evenings. but whatever the conversation at the rooftop, just know that its meant to be there as an escape. to me, its like release therapy. with the aid of starbucks versus coffeebean that is. not to forget the random paid merchandise obtained along the way. the day started out simple. having no idea where to go but with an end in mind. we found ourselves ending up at funan the IT mall. and deane managed to get himself a Norton 360. a whopping $129 well spent i must say. apart from that he got himself a laptop cooling pad. i already got mine so i aint jealous. in fact, i got it as a b'day gift. so all the better. "you're not keeping the box. i always keep boxes. for sentimental value" words that came out from me "you're a trash collector" he said so we talked the whole night through, and started singing *Nsync songs. plus a

westlife - my private movie here's a virtual hug to anyone who needs it... book-in timing at 1700hrs at Pasir Ris Bus Int meaning, i'd be leavin home at 15oohrs get ready at 1400hrs half an hour more to go. and i finished updating my blog till 23rd. so scheduled posts again...

now im trying to hold on but i dont know for how long

by right. this would be the 1000th post on deep muziq. happy 1000th. 26/6/05 - and still running. talk about me and overcommitment.

this week has been really awesome. i apologise for that, i dont know of any other stronger words to desribe the week. so awesome it is. first and foremost, it is against the law for people like me to blog about classified info and activities here. and thats the reason why i havent been really blogging details. life has been sweet. recruits from other platoons know my name. and they talk behind my back. that i acknowledge. but its been great. because they finally saw the balance. ______________ the softie thats what i was labelled as before. hard to believe but true. they saw that as an advantage and they decided to poke fun at me. but not anymore. it died down. few days ago, we were in the pool having fun. we had a game of Captain's Ball. i pretty much couldnt be bothered. i just went in and out and tried to do push-ups underwater. that is real hard to do. so anyway, the ball suddenly came towards me from above. i didnt know what to do but i accidentally caught the ball with both h

there was once a guy, at the age of 16, who enjoyed making friends with girls. every morning without fail, he would be sitting down at the parade square talking to 2 of his female classmates. i noticed it was a daily routine. i saw how he enjoyed the morning company. but something strange happened. i noticed him staring and looking out for this girl. a junior from another distant class. i presumed he had a crush on her. in which was normal at that particular age. but nothing more happened. he didnt seem to be trying to get her attention. maybe because he had just broken up with his previous girlfriend. i dont know. im just assuming. days passed. and he's been staring at her for quite a long time already. i was hoping he would do something daring. i told him to go for it . but he refused. what a coward. so that happened till the end of the year till he graduated. i told him he wasted the chance . but he said 'it was ok' so i let him be. but now, 4 years later,

boy oh boy. heat rash. it itches. and im sunburnt. so it stings. and when i scratch, it hurts and its piercing. itchy sunburns. oh, i got loads to buy tomorrow. Sunblock After sun lotion Deodorant Porepack Nail Buffer Handiplast Strepsils and im all ready for Guard Duty this Tuesday. considering the fact that im pairing up with alif, im pleased. if you dont recall, alif is the unstraight guy i once mentioned here. so we bitches will have fun through the night bullshitting and gossiping while prowling.

so if you noticed, the SMRT Buses have gotten new pairs of shoes. they're white now. TIBS gave the Mercedes Habit Bus orange shoes then, when SMRT took over, they wore formal black shoes and now they're white! as clean as a sock i must say. lovely. or am i in denial. sheesh. they're bullcrap. they're freaking ugly. i prefer them in silver.

oh my goodness. i dont listen to female singers. the closest i went was avril and britney. but now miley cyrus from hannah montana? "7 things i hate about you... na na na na na" and to think she's a day younger than my sis. tsk tsk 23 nov 1992

but yeah, im back in mainland. and the week's been great. they saw a balance in me now. balance i tell you.

while i love ranting about love and stuff, im not truly truthful about it. officially, my last spring of dating event was in 2004. officially that is. cootie alert. this post will irk you. im not a boyfriend material. i would ensure that you'd hate me. why so? ____________ cos i would be the one to scream out loud in a crowded mall saying that i love you. cos i would be the kind to work my ass off to get you that useless diamond necklace you said you dont need cos i would be the kind to hug you when its already warm and stuffy enough. cos i would be the kind who'd be thinking of you day in and day out cos i'd make sure im the last number you text late at night and the first one you text when you open your eyes cos im the kind who would customize my hand to fit into yours perfectly cos i'll cry when i see you cry and cry even more when you're done crying cos i'll make you laugh when you're down, even when im more down than ever cos i'll do whatever it tak

while im in dismay knowing that most guys have the same mentality, it just pisses me off knowing that the guys in mainland are no different. "girls are not toys you male chauvinist pig" i shouted that in the bunk while talking to nigel the rest stared at me and carried on with their toy tales. ooh i oughta slap them. i mean, i have a sister, so i know how a brother would react. while the rest dont have sisters, it just irks me. god damn you.

i tried to make a film to make you laugh. in which you did. i tried to produce a song to stick to your head. in which it did i tried to draw a picture to remind me of you. in which it did. i tried to photograph how beautiful you are. in which i did and im the kind who stops after that checkpoint has been cleared. i dont progress further. very brave adam. sure. sarcasm there.

happy birthday to you you you! smile! to the person who always made me smile, its your turn to show that sparkling teeth! and good luck with your exams. may this day be well spent and be remembered til tomorrow. happy birthday *jess. stop saying everyday is your birthday. cos today officially is.

i should learn to stop wanting to be at the top everytime lets get physical. im aiming for 10mins for 2.4 less than 10.2 for shuttle run more than 40 sit ups. all that has been very possible. except for chin ups. look, when i entered, i did zero. 2 months later, im doing fine with 2. its all in the mind. 2001-gold 2002-gold 2003-gold 2004-silver silver due to the intro of chin ups. so you see how i hate chin ups? "apa lagi yang kau tak boleh buat?(what else can you not do?)" fithrin asked me in front of the rest "swimming" i replied "i mean IPPT" he said "durr, chin ups" Eagles only had 3 silver and a few passes previously and it seems that everyone is convinced that i would get something good as well. the pressure is on. _______________ and while im aiming to be posted to SAF Music and Drama Co, guess where my father was posted to back in the days? the same. he played the clarinet for the military band. im just hoping to play with my vocals. bah

boy oh boy do i remember you loud and clearly. i am thrilled and amazed that you still lurk around my blog, though its been years since i last saw you. though we live in the same neighbourhood. MRS WONG and yes. who could ever forget about mrs wong. who could ever forget the temperamental teacher we fear so much. who could ever forget the teacher who broke down in front of us. ACID RAIN and yes, i still remember the answer to that question. it was something about "what are the factors that contributes to acid rain?" i was all blanked out, and i decided to write a random poem. and it ended with "so therefore, acid rain is like vinegar from the sky" what a test answer. 4x100m wow. you remember that ey? i remember me, nad, naz and deane training like crazy for it. i was the last runner then. and isnt it amazing how someone my size can dash so fast? naz was the third runner. he was about to pass me the baton. but he got confused and switched lanes like twice.

i woke up in a daze. it felt like i didnt wake up from a dream. instead, it felt like i woke up while my head was all messed up and thinking. i dont feel so good. maybe it was the lack of sleep. but hell no. i enjoyed my last moments before drifting into the abyss of sleep. at least, i had her company while i was online. im feeling twisted. cos a part of me wanna cry and a part of me still feels confused. maybe its because i feel drained from all the trainings. i wouldnt have wallowed at the buffet the other night if i was alright. my leg wouldnt give me problems if i was alright. we all have our fair share of problems. its about how we manage it and become millionaires. "you're on the road again, it stretches out for miles if you want some company, i'll walk with you a while and when the road gets too rough you can put your head down on my shoulder a little warmth when it gets colder i dont know the things that you're going through but you ca

in mainland. i cant survive without my acer gemstone (science) and her portable usb modem (her name is maths). i love to travel and surf. while offshore i cant survive without my black notebook (black) and her trusty pen (blue) i love to write down notes and sketch randoms. ___________ i blog in my 'black' everyday. we're forced to do so anyway. and when im bored, i just whip out my psp (red) i love naming things. it gives me a whole sense of ownership of things. it makes me smile. but there is one thing i fear. while im offshore, i dont want any of you to die. i cry easily. please dont leave when im not in mainland. thanks.

up till now. im still figuring out who fairylife is. maybe its you. well, whatever it is, he/she sounds happy. kudos to you. make me smile.

i could have relaxed the whole day through and do some shopping. i had a list of items i needed to get. like more deodorant, body spray and sun block. and a nail buffer too. i was oh so prepared. really. i smell good. even when i dont wash up, they dont know. "you bathe already? we all got no time to bathe seh" kc said to me "how you guessed?" i asked "you smell so fresh" "erm, actually, i havent bathed" i admitted "errrr" oh, and i have a bad right leg. i destroyed it. booo. prior to book out, we were training for IPPT. i was doing great and leading. shuttle run that is. but on the second lap, i did a sudden brake, skid my knee on the road and pulled a muscle. but i soldiered on and still finished the shuttle run faster than the guy opposite of me. amazing. and my knee had loads of blood. thick red blood. so now, when time feels like it, my muscle will pull excruciatingly. ouh wow. i destroyed my own leg. mama mia, i distracted myself

mr white rose. i am extremely sure, hillgrovian's 1st batch had had a great pleasure of havin an experienced senior for a malay teacher. he was really nothin like the rest. he loves sharing with us his life stories. and that made life more bearable. he had this aura of power in him. and i love him for that. maybe im biased. but i was one of his favourite and i had no clue then as to why so. there were many incidents i would love to quote. but let me see what i can recall... cikgu was standing infront of the class and staring right at me. "semalam cikgu mimpi. cikgu mimpi pasal adam. dalam mimpi itu, adam dah nak masuk universiti, tetapi ada sesuatu yang menghalang. (yesterday i had a dream about adam. in that dream, adam was about to enter university but there was an obstacle in the path.)" he then came to my desk. stared at me. and asked gently. "adam ada masalah di rumah ya?" (adam's got a problem at home?) i was kinda stunned. its like he knew something w

calling all graduated media students if you're still lost like me and dont know how to carve out your name on that media totem, then all i can say is, dont quit your day job. delete all your old works. who needs those short films of yours? who needs those random sketches? who needs those 'what you claim as artistic' photos? who needs to listen to songs that you wrote and produced and recorded with a video even? who needs your story telling skills? why dont we all just become truck drivers and be happy with 3k to 4k a month. sheesh. this what happens when i get pissed looking back at all my old works. GRRR!

i didnt write your name 174 times i wasnt even thinkin about you the whole week my sleep and appetite were not affected at all who am i kidding...

and then one by one, i went down the lines and repeated them, simply cos it made me smile...

tell me why i am not surprised? sure. its always that same old formula. everyone knows me, they think im arrogant and full of bull. but when they get to know me better, they enjoy talking to me. and so i point a middle finger to that. "orang belakang aku ada sifat sifat perempuan (the person behind me got characteristics of a female)" satria said to me, and he was referring to me. he's not even from my platoon. "huh?" but whatever it is that made him say that to me, must be full of bull. a chinese guy with an indian girl and chinese girl with an indian guy. dope

he grabbed my hand and stroked it, placed his hand on my shoulder and said "mmm, adam, dont you know that you're the most good looking one here. especially when you wear your outside clothes. mmm, i swear i could have kissed you then" -harsewak singh said to me while he was 2 seats away from me at the lecture theater "erm, right" -dm "ouh, im so horny, wanna see my dick?" singh asked me and idrus. idrus was sitting there innocently in between us. and erm, there he was, showing off his dick. "ee, tak sunat. (uncircumcised) like elephant trunk" i whispered to idrus "uh huh"

dad had an afro mom has wavy luscious hair sis has wavy curly hair and so where did my straight hair come from? i stared at this pic for quite a while. half the time i look like my mom, half the time i look like my dad. all the time, i dont wanna look like'em. and my mom dont know how to smile for pictures. now thats for sure.

so i missed out on the first event. but theres still today's event. and that means good food, although food appeals to me no more. i was browsing through the pictures that my sis helped me snapped. hmmm, and then i came across this one. and to think that i even went pass this picture without even stopping to look at details. i was at like 3 pics after the latter and then it strucked me. so i went back and stared at it. and i was like hey! thats what i would have done. i mean, when the male party send the female party gifts, it would be stupid things like cakes, candy, money etc. now this is more like it, a crumpler bag, neat shoes and randoms. now thats dope right there. and stop giving out eggs or handkerchiefs. if i could, i'd give out free ipods to guests below 30.

and he was gettin advice from me about good ol' NS. im glad i eased his mind. but he started the convo weird. "Adam brother" like whoa. no one ever called me that before. he was like my best buddy during my workin period at Science Centre. we would be sitting there and having loads of fun with kids from Zhenghua, Lianhua, Grace Orchard Special School and et cetera. so you get the point. the kids loved us teddy bears and we love teasing them. gary and i always donned a jacket. it made us look important. hoho. but this time, while im in tekong, he'd be workin for NJRC at SSC. how i envy him right now....grr 254 couples are tyin the knot on 8/8/8 777 couples tied the knot on 7/7/7 both my cousins are in the digit above. so yes, i'd be goin to her weddin then when i book out, mmmmm.

im stubborn, i know

i so love it. but its makin me black. and so yes, i made good progrees with my standing broad jump. an increase of 21 cm i must say. 230 cm, short of 16 cm to gold. and and and! i must say, for the previous 7 days, you gave me butterflies in my stomach. and its making my stay offshore a breeze. hi there lil miss photography

"i so badly wanna slap you, just so that i can get your attention" and if i could, i would hug you so tight and then i'll go to sleep. goodnight mainland.

usually, when the whole day is done. i'd be there at Ladang Street 3, on the 4th floor. i'd be washing up and doing my laundry. after that, i'd be callin up home and then, listen to my ipod and then indulge myself with my psp. so if you get bored like i do, text me at 8222 1711 i'd love to try to make your day. i aint awesome, but i try to be. good night one and all

erm, remember 9th march? remember the day that we felt uber insecure about our abilities and capabilities. and now that time passed us by, we miss being up on stage. and we miss makin our own muziq together. well if you dont, then i do.

at this very point of time, i'd be standin there at Pasir Ris waitin to set sail. and at this very point of time, im melted butter, smiling to myself like a mad bastard because of you. you know who you are. im melted peanut butter, yum.

its a routine. my sis would snap my picture each time i book out. and i'd snap hundreds myself. to see my progress in NS. i just realised i became more bulkier. hoho. but who's countin'? im havin fun anyhows. see you next year.

4 hours more to tekong...home should i say if i can be a girly girl right now, i'd be spinning around in circles, floatin on cloud 9 and yes, what a beautiful sunday. and as usual, im counting down the hours to tekong. and when im in tekong, i'd be countin down the hours to mainland and when im in mainland, i dunno what to do. and the cycle goes on. i think i fell asleep at like 5am last night. but still im feelin hyper right now. grrr. my heart is pumpin fast. hoho-ness. and i hope i got all the things i need to bring. i think i know why im excited. tsk tsk. and no im not gonna type it all out here. and yes, most definitely, i may be 'slenger' but i dont mind being your 'slenger' =)

sheesh. where were my defenses? the reinforced wall i held on to. the secrets behind that dusty old door with a key thats been lost years ago. because she made me smile the whole night through. because i came to realise, 'hey, its happening again. im fallin' for you' sheesh. whats wrong with you adam? now i cant sleep... dang

i dont know. hmmm. errr, lalalala. im not sure. hoho. haha haaaa assuring words. blanks that give me time to think and expect for the worst to happen. im afraid of myself actually. yes yes. i know. im always quiet at gatherings. only at the beginning. and then i'll interact in the middle part. and then im quiet again when its time to go home. yes yes. i know. i can be super sarcastic. especially at my bunkmates. sorry guys. i dont love you. and sometimes, one stun oneself with a whole lot of truth. and you know who you are. thanks for making me smile. hugs to you! *edit* bahh to you