the honest truth

"and now all i can do is smile
and fade into the background"

each time when i say that i wanna sign-on in the army.
my view on life becomes narrow.
all i can see is, the future-me not having a female counterpart, having to grow old as a good disciplined man
and yet, earning enough money to last and to own a private vehicle as i desire.

its scaring me at times.

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