she who comforts me
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| "the bar" 2004 |
im in the middle of watching Boys Over Flowers.
yes. i have my moments.
eMoments i would call it.
im tired. im drained. i need to marry money. i want. in fact, i need more money. there's so many things i need to rectify. only capable of doing so with money. a whole lot of it. i need to repay my parents for bringing me up. i aint cheap. its not their fault, we're just in a country where its a tad too pricey. and i feel the urgency and the need for me to chip in and play my part.
and 23's round the corner. now thats a little cruel don't you suppose. im getting older. and yes, i depend on pills to survive. im always ill. always having something to pull me down, always something that ails me. gosh. speaking of which, i need my supplements now. and i have yet to complete my cycle of antibiotics. still got a few left. delayed of course. gosh, i need to get well.
one more thing, i think today was the first time i actually said "FUCK YOU" to my mom. and i should feel bad about it. cos she was talking about how weak i am and how sick and unhealthy i am. she knows cos i always got some random sickness up. and yes, she was going on and on about this. everyday.
its wrong of me and i dont know why i snapped. and after i snapped, she came to my room. and she consoled me.
now that was the touching part. i think she knows i felt fucked up about being ill. it just sucks. but having my mom coming to my room to comfort me after i hurled something offensive to her, its just heartwarming and it made me feel like a rotten son. i need to repay my parents. pronto. i love my mom, just like any child loves their mom. cos its she who comforts me.
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