his million complaints

Salutations to you, It's been 5 years. 5 short years that i'd been complaining here in this space. Over the years, i got to witness first hand how our generation gave up ranting in paragraphs. We in this new era rant in short simple lines on either facebook or twitter. Me inclusive. But still, i have yet to forget about this space. Because sometimes, I need to beat this human loneliness and rant. I need to let off steam sometimes. a single line wont do it, i need to release in paragraphs. Thats how much words i have in my brain. Maybe one day, i might just give up on this space. Signing off, the author

"Hog" 2006 remember how i used to mention how distant i am from my relatives? well, here's another rant today. it was 1630hrs and i was watching Boys Over Flowers when the phone rang. so i reluctantly and angrily paused my show and picked up the phone. it was Angkwek. the name Angkwek derived from Pak Hitam. Pak Hitam then got translated to Uncle Black. and me and my other cousins just cut it short to Angkwek. so he was on the line, he thought on the line was my father. i always get that alot on the phone. so yeah, i passed the phone to my dad. my dad grouchily woke up and answered. upon putting the receiver to his ears, his eyes lit up. "What? Your father got caught by the police?" in malay.  i started to smile. my dad giggled. then we both laughed. Dad was still on the phone. "Sent to a shelter? What? Angsana Home? tell them to put him in there for 5 years" he joked. and after he put down the phone, we were giggling. and then i asked, as if...

"the bar" 2004 been in bed for a day now. minus the mealbreak and body maintenance timing in the middle, than yeah, its been a day. with all this lounging around, i should feel refreshed. well i know i am, but i choose to believe im still feeling lethargic. well what can i say. its human nature. but then again, we are not the same, i am a martian. that's what lil wayne would say. im in the middle of watching Boys Over Flowers. yes. i have my moments. eMoments i would call it. im tired. im drained. i need to marry money. i want. in fact, i need more money. there's so many things i need to rectify. only capable of doing so with money. a whole lot of it. i need to repay my parents for bringing me up. i aint cheap. its not their fault, we're just in a country where its a tad too pricey. and i feel the urgency and the need for me to chip in and play my part. and 23's round the corner. now thats a little cruel don't you suppose. im getting older. and y...

"I BELIEVE(D) IN ANGELS" 2007 well indeed, after my long wait, my trophy had been properly skinned. i am still surprised as to why there aint any protectors for HTC 7 Trophy. not even from their Customer Service Centre at Keppel Tower. part 2's January salary would be for bills and all the important IOUs. without the incentives this month (MC in December) i'm rather tight. but it will be full speed ahead next month. i'll be on that fast rebound. so i aint worried much. cleaned up my room the other time, all my junk within the past 10 years had been cleared. i don't need memories. i dont need things to remind me where i'd been and what i did. its time to move on. but during the process, i found a few old sketchbooks of drawings. that and even my old songbook. now those stuff are real sentimental. hmmm... i'm old. and did i mentioned that i'm pretty cash-strapped? but then again, i believe in angels.

Well yes of course I'd been busy. Well apart from work, I need to catch up on the backlog of shows that I need to watch...

 i've made it pretty clear before. i revolve around money. life is in fact. i deviated from my short term goal and now i'm back to it. gotta save for my downpayment. and i ain't worried much about my cpf and buying a house in future. i just need to stay working this job for a few years, 3 minimum, if i wanna strong foundation.  this right here actually reminds me of my job.  why yes, izzat got his ride. mine should be within this year. he had the aid from his parents. i have none, so that's why its taking a little bit longer. but then again, you shouldnt bother because i'm the one saving and paying. in fact, i'll kill you. ok, that was random. on a side note, remember this, when i blog, its usually when im inspired. and i believe in authenticity. which is why i buy my toys at a high price. i prefer the Japanese and HK version of my mecha to the US. what i'm tryna say is that, i dont really think much about the thoughts im pouring out. i'd seen...

maybe it applies to all but i feel mine could be severe. i was brought up not to trust strangers. but i think mine went deeper than that. i actually trust no one. friends or family. i have the same mentality as my dad. rather hostile towards other humans. my dad has a foul mouth and a whole different mindset of his own. its like as if he feels people are looking at him all the time. in fact, we close our windows while we pray cos he feels the neighbours are looking. we used to close our kitchen windows because there was once a 'kitchen god' neighbour across our unit who loves to 'look out' the window. relatives? family friends? i can only name one relative unit that we are close to. but even that, my dad has his qualms against them. honestly, i think its almost a decade since i'd talked to them. caught glimpses of them once before. once. and none to family friends. my parents don't have friends. we actually live in a world of our own. i did try to break fr...

   "every once in a blue moon, comes a film that makes you wanna fall in love again. Hello Stranger falls under that" ~ deep muziq  now, i knew I'd stumble into this type of movie every now and then, i just don't know when. and I'm grateful i chanced upon this today. Hello Stranger is an epic Thai love movie that takes place in Seoul, Korea. a place i would love to be in actually, second to Japan and a notch above Sydney. Seriously. its a story of two lonely Thais on a trip to Korea, eventually falling in love with one another after spending a few days together. but of course, the ending ain't cliché. its no (spoiler alert) happy ever after (spoiler alert) as I'd expected it. i watched it with Deane, in fact, it was our first ever movie together after 10 years of knowing each other. how about that. not only that, it was my first Vivocity movie experience. pfft...  i don't know but this movie managed to tug my heartstrings. its li...

so there's one guarding the power sockets. someone actually gave me this. and i'm thankful. and so there's another guarding me while i sleep. three awesome people actually bought me this for my 19th birthday in 2007 and so another one guards the bed phone and so another one guarding my bus collections. shawnrick gave this one to me. i kinda paid for it.  and here lies their boxes. i received the main mechas and so i bought their accessories. on a side note, every bus enthusiasts deserves a bus stop well, to start off, tomorrow would mark my first purchase of megazords for the new year. i'd been lagging in terms of my mecha collection. so today, i removed my 'now reduced in size' collection from their boxes. keep in mind i used to have around 25 mechas. i still love my toys. they remind me of important events and people. well what can i say but i have "mechas guarding my room"

couldn't be more than a day over three.  Still young and carefree. When everything was much easier. I was easy like Sunday mornings. Come what may for nothing bothered me. Protected and guarded from all the lies and negativity. Life was so much better then. Where a dollar was something of a huge value. Whatever happened to the good old days. I miss being young. Days where I would push my free wheeling toy cars to the kitchen as mom cooked something good for the family. Life was about morning cartoons and sleep. Eager to grow old...  To be continued

if this is just a dream, then leave me let me sleep don't disturb me please...

im still growing up. still learning how to save, to pay bills, to use medisave, to pay my own clinic bills. by the way, i have to do daily wound dressing. im still growing up. still tryna enjoy working life. still tryna find some peace. but im currently saving up for my future apartment, future car, future toy collection and probable future dialysis and medication and hospitalisation fee. notice how the missus is missing from my gameplan. future probable kids of mine, could you please tell me 'how i met your mother' i so love 'how i met your mother'

musiq soulchild - "dontchange" well i gotta admint. i was touched when i first listened to the lyrics. and well i had to admit. i did cry the first time i saw the video. and i still wish music was still like this on the radio.

a running tap is what my nose aspires to be. a moon crater is what my leg aspires to be. a healthy adult is what i aspire to be. somewhat normal is what i'll never be.

thus far, there's only 2 memorable new year's eve in my book. one would be the eve of 2005 and the other would be the ushering of 2011 (cos it happened recently). 2011 actually spells change for me. many in store. not knowing exactly when i will execute the plans. but it will. have to happen. forced to. this would also mark the first time i was sick during countdown. furthermore, i learnt never ever to drink a whole bottle of cough medicine. especially when its not mine as well.   what happened was, we were at the multi storey carpark across Hard Rock Cafe. i alighted from izzat's civic. and doosh! i fell to the ground. i couldnt feel my legs. i was drowsy. and i was nauseous. and then i puked. and then i was high. as if tipsy. "5,4,3,2,1" everyone hugged, jumped and danced. i froze on the dancefloor. my chest had an 808 drum pumping some 180bpm track. i specially bought my heart rate monitor watch for this reason. it read 184 beats per minute. and...