no more heroes (edit)

i know i'm not allowed to disclose anything too personal regarding this.
i know this could be against military law.
but i assure readers out there that there's
no disclosure of anything that could affect the organisation.
this is my thoughts of losing my one and only hero.


and i think everyone loves you too
click here
_____

i'd lost my biggest inspiration.
my biggest hero at my workplace.
my rolemodel.
the one and only that i can turn to.
the one that i report to.
the one and only
my father figure had left us just a little too soon.
leaving behind nothing but valuable memories
and pointers to leading a good life

his family is saddened by the news.
and we too were at a state of shock, loss
and denial. i myself can't describe what i'm feeling
now.

before sending him off on his final journey,
i guess i'll give him a can of coffee.
i know he wont be able to drink it.
but i hope he'd be glad to know that i
still love him
_

"by the way, happy birthday" i told him with a smile
as i was walking out his office a month ago

"ey, thank you boy. kopi mana?" he replied jokingly

"when you come back ok?" i promised him
_

but now, he didnt return.
he didnt get back here.
he left and didnt return.
i'm disappointed. at me myself and everything else.


so, here's to my father, mother, brother, sister, friend, god etc.
(as what he'd call himself as a reassurance that he'll take care of us; his sons)
i'm missing you already.
and for sure i'll be red-eyed while sending you off
this stressful hectic world.

___

dear readers,
despite how much one could offend you and
make you tired at the end of the day,
don't forget, he could be more tired than you
and that he's too tired to carry on with this journey
here on earth.

i am deeply depressed,
and no,
i rejected the counselling offer given.
no words can ever erase this confusion in me.

i love you, i miss you.
you can finally rest now.
no more of your less than 4 hours of sleep.

goodbye my friend.
i owe it to you.