they say it ain't over till the fat lady sings
like many, i do and would love to say i had an awesome day. who would not especially when you're accompanying your friend collecting the keys to his new ride from the dealer. and having time well spent with friends over a meal and movie. yes, the day was swell. but as we all know, if its too good to be true, something would come along to pull everything back down to reality.
i reached home and saw a letter addressed to me from NUH. i was expecting that actually considering i discharged myself previously without awaiting the doctor's memo. i mean, i was not in the wrong, the nurse helped me packed and told me i was free to go. and go i did. and i knew when i received that call saying that they'll post me the memo, i knew what would be in that. something that has nothing to do with my leg operation. something internal.
i was already expecting it. it happened before and its all coming back now. in fact, i had braced myself for it. but somehow i didn't understand as to why i just stood there, frozen and unable to move. it was like something triggered my nerves and synapses to make me immobilised. that simple memo drained out every inch of excitement and hopes i had in me. it was as if i was reading my own expiry date and cause of downfall.
it was drastic i tell you. and you would wonder what it was and some may have it all figured out. something has to be done. and no. i am not ready to take that test. i refuse to. i know what would happen.
ever since i came out from my short stay in the hospital, close pals noticed a bit of a change. things like, "i think we got the wrong Adam here" were out in the air of our conversation. teasers were present as well like,
i reached home and saw a letter addressed to me from NUH. i was expecting that actually considering i discharged myself previously without awaiting the doctor's memo. i mean, i was not in the wrong, the nurse helped me packed and told me i was free to go. and go i did. and i knew when i received that call saying that they'll post me the memo, i knew what would be in that. something that has nothing to do with my leg operation. something internal.
i was already expecting it. it happened before and its all coming back now. in fact, i had braced myself for it. but somehow i didn't understand as to why i just stood there, frozen and unable to move. it was like something triggered my nerves and synapses to make me immobilised. that simple memo drained out every inch of excitement and hopes i had in me. it was as if i was reading my own expiry date and cause of downfall.
it was drastic i tell you. and you would wonder what it was and some may have it all figured out. something has to be done. and no. i am not ready to take that test. i refuse to. i know what would happen.
ever since i came out from my short stay in the hospital, close pals noticed a bit of a change. things like, "i think we got the wrong Adam here" were out in the air of our conversation. teasers were present as well like,
"the only way we'll know this is the real Adam is to offer him cake. if he eats it, then its not Adam. and if we give him egg and he takes it, then thats the real Adam." as one mentioned.
that aside, i would officially declare in this space of mine that i am at an all time low. depressed even. life aint over till something pulls you down. i've got to make this life change. i have a plan. and i'll make it work. its been going well but its been hard to determine since my plan is only at its infant stage. i could kill myself (again) actually. but then again as they say, 'it ain't over till the fat lady sings'.
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